cold-blooded, soulless being
I am a cold-blooded, soulless being wandering the earth. That is what I've become. At least that is what you made up in your mind. In your sickening and twisted perception of me, I am just a bitch.
You say I do not talk much. In truth, I think I just do not talk about the things you want me to. I refuse to do the things you want just to please you. And if that makes me a bitch, then be it: I'll be a bitch before your eyes!
What you do not understand is that I don't talk because sometimes it hurts. It hurts me to be unable to say how I really feel since even I cannot describe it. It hurts me to core wanting to speak my mind and to not find the words. Some things cannot be conveyed by verbalization, they're too complex. So I shut them out of conversations. I keep it all to myself, although I know it harms me. But I guess that's my burden.
Then I start feeling numb. I feel numb because once I felt too much. There's just so much emotion you can take before you explode, you know. After that, you cannot take it anymore. It's like your brain (or your soul, whatever you want to call it) has been overloaded with information, so it shuts down. When it turns back on everything has been erased, your settings have been formatted. And you feel nothing. You cannot even cry because you have already cried exhaustingly in the past. There's no more water in that river anymore.
(...)
You say I do not talk much. In truth, I think I just do not talk about the things you want me to. I refuse to do the things you want just to please you. And if that makes me a bitch, then be it: I'll be a bitch before your eyes!
What you do not understand is that I don't talk because sometimes it hurts. It hurts me to be unable to say how I really feel since even I cannot describe it. It hurts me to core wanting to speak my mind and to not find the words. Some things cannot be conveyed by verbalization, they're too complex. So I shut them out of conversations. I keep it all to myself, although I know it harms me. But I guess that's my burden.
Then I start feeling numb. I feel numb because once I felt too much. There's just so much emotion you can take before you explode, you know. After that, you cannot take it anymore. It's like your brain (or your soul, whatever you want to call it) has been overloaded with information, so it shuts down. When it turns back on everything has been erased, your settings have been formatted. And you feel nothing. You cannot even cry because you have already cried exhaustingly in the past. There's no more water in that river anymore.
(...)
